I'm going to preface this post by admitting I did not watch the entire season. After Juan Pablo Galavis went on his anti-gay rant, I couldn't stomach watching him for long periods of time. It is not because I disagreed with his opinion, he has a right to it, no matter how ignorant it is. I became enraged to hear him blame his words on the fact that his first language isn't English. I don't want to turn this post into a huge debate, but as a bilingual Latina, he is helping perpetuate a stereotype that maybe we don't always understand what we are saying or reading.
|Nikki Ferrell and her boyfriend (?) Juan Pablo Galavis on "The Bachelor" (Photo: ABC)|
With that being said, his smugness and lack of accepting responsibility for the things he says or does, is what I disliked about Juan Pablo the most. But since we should always look for something positive out of every negative situation, here are the lessons we should take from season 18 of "The Bachelor" in no particular order:
1. Do not go on a television show and compete against 25 women for one man. I'm sorry, but no one man is worth that kind of pain and aggravation. Isn't dating just one person difficult enough these days? This season had the largest group of relatable women, and I loved seeing the photos of contestants Andi Dorfman, Sharleen Joynt, and Kelly Travis who hooked up in Georgia to watch (and mock) an episode! #girlpower
2. When a guy, or his mother, tells you you deserve better, believe them! If I had learned that lesson and run in the other direction many times during my life, I'd have saved myself some serious heartache, amongst other things. It's obvious Juan Pablo was looking for his 15 minutes of fame and not much else. Always, always, always value yourself.
3. Fairy tales do not exist, especially not on a reality dating competition show. Yes, there are plenty of good men out there that will treat you like a princess. But no relationship is perfect and it will take a lot of work and dedication from both of you to make it work. I'm not sure about contractual obligations, but I would have LOVED to have seen Juan Pablo arrive to the Final Rose Ceremony only to be stood up by Clare Crawley and the ultimate winner (?) Nikki Ferrell. Juan P is a Miami local and has been spotted around town with various women in tow at many events. Yes, he can have female friends, but come on! You think he was going to be true to Nikki, who he claims to only "like very much?"
4. Not all Hispanic men are the same! I'm embarrassed Juan Pablo ended up being the first ever ethnic bachelor. He does not represent me or the entire community. Yes, this was only a television show, but I bet there were a lot of conversations about how [enter random stereotype here] Hispanic men are. I have heard from many Hispanics about the show and Mr. Galavis, and no one was impressed by him or supported his behavior or ideologies.
5. Never settle. My mom used to always say, "everything that glitters is not gold." Yes, he was attractive and seemed to have all the qualities these women were looking for. But look at the end result and realize that beauty is skin deep. Get to know someone for who they are, flaws and all! People will never change. If you can't accept them as they are, move on! It will be hard and you will make mistakes. But the important thing is that you pick yourself up and never accept anything less than what you are worth.
What I hope Juan Pablo learned:
I interviewed Juan Pablo for a major outlet and his English was perfect. I hope he learned to own up to his words and beliefs and people will respect you more for it. Don't back peddle, stand up for what you think is right. If you realize that you made a mistake, apologize and educate yourself so as not to be ignorant in the future.
Also, you have a daughter and a mother. Never treat a female any less than you'd expect the two most important women in your life to be treated. How would you feel if you heard someone treated either of them how you treated most of these women?
Karma, sir, is a bitch.